My Parent's Anniversary

Today would have been my parent's 70th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that Mom has been gone more than ten years and Dad nearly nine. Nobody knew for fifty years that they had married "in haste". In 1990 Mother mentioned that she hoped there would be no falderal for the occasion. My sister was the one who questioned Mother's memory regarding her wedding date saying the 50th must have been a year ago. Otherwise Mother would have been pregnant for her marriage. "Only a little" was Mom's angry retort. We all had a laugh over Mother still being embarrassed all these years later. Anyway, we honored her wishes and rather than have a celebration for the anniversary, we had a big party for their 80th birthdays. Mom was born in April of 1917 and Dad was born in March of the same year. So in 1997, my sister and I threw a huge party at my sister's house. We rented tables and chairs and dishes and glasses and chaffing dishes and linens, etc. We did most of the cooking and setting up, but it was nice to be able to send the dishes and linens back to the rental store and let someone else handle the chore of that part of the clean up.

The year they got married, Dad was working full time as a cook at the Dutchland Farm restaurant in Groton. Mom was a waitress at the same establishment. Dad also had a part time job as bartender at a place called The Cozy Corner in New London. They had a tiny apartment near The Cozy Corner. On their wedding day, the owner of the bar, Freddie Kahlil, drove them to New York City so they could have something of a honeymoon after the civil ceremony. From that simple start came a happy life with a few ups and downs and two wonderful children...me and my sister. In this age of "throw-away" marriages, it's nice to think that my parents stayed together in spite of the many "bumps" in the road. I recall as Mom lay dying in the hospital, Dad choked back tears as he recalled they would be married 60 years come November. Mom passed away in April of 2000.

Life can be cruel sometimes. About the time Dad was coming to grips with the loss of Mother, he was taken ill and diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma. He passed away shortly after midnight on November 12th. I remember the date because a week prior, on the 4th, my sister and I loaded his wheelchair into my car and took him for a little outing from the nursing home. By this time, he required a lot of care that neither one of us would have been able to provide. I honestly don't think he would have been happy with "his girls" looking after his personal needs anyway. So on this day we went for a little ride in the car to give him a change of scenery. We ended the tour at his home. A lot of things had been removed since we knew he would not be returning, but the living room still looked the same and I think it was comforting for him to sit in his easy chair one more time and drink a cup of coffee. At one point, my sister left the room and I said, "I don't know if it's appropriate to say under the circumstances, but happy anniversary." Even though it was sad with Mother gone, I think it pleased him that I remembered. A week later, he was with her.