Wall of Indecision

I have decided that this wall needs to be painted. Currently it is white, like every other wall in my place. There is nothing wrong with white, in fact I rather like it. It goes with everything and brightens up my basement digs aka "the grotto". The problem is, my dining table shares the space with my living room. There is plenty of room for this arrangement but I sort of prefer some definition between the dining area and sitting area. Since I'm not clever enough to throw up a wall or even a room divider, I settled on the idea of paint. I've only recently been painting a lot of my old furniture a pretty color of antique red (seen here in the chairs). Cranberry might be a good choice of color only I'm getting a little tired of red. I like the furniture but I'm ready to move on to new adventures on the color wheel. I began by looking at the colors in my curtains and tablecloth in the room. Green is somewhat predominant but that might give the room a Christmassy feeling (good in December, not so much the rest of the year). Beige or brown might be okay but so drab. Finally, I settled on gold...not a flashy gold, but a gold like ale or a ginger cat. It will accent and compliment but not match the rest of the decor. Now that it's decided, I can barely wait to get started.

My Parent's Anniversary

Today would have been my parent's 70th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that Mom has been gone more than ten years and Dad nearly nine. Nobody knew for fifty years that they had married "in haste". In 1990 Mother mentioned that she hoped there would be no falderal for the occasion. My sister was the one who questioned Mother's memory regarding her wedding date saying the 50th must have been a year ago. Otherwise Mother would have been pregnant for her marriage. "Only a little" was Mom's angry retort. We all had a laugh over Mother still being embarrassed all these years later. Anyway, we honored her wishes and rather than have a celebration for the anniversary, we had a big party for their 80th birthdays. Mom was born in April of 1917 and Dad was born in March of the same year. So in 1997, my sister and I threw a huge party at my sister's house. We rented tables and chairs and dishes and glasses and chaffing dishes and linens, etc. We did most of the cooking and setting up, but it was nice to be able to send the dishes and linens back to the rental store and let someone else handle the chore of that part of the clean up.

The year they got married, Dad was working full time as a cook at the Dutchland Farm restaurant in Groton. Mom was a waitress at the same establishment. Dad also had a part time job as bartender at a place called The Cozy Corner in New London. They had a tiny apartment near The Cozy Corner. On their wedding day, the owner of the bar, Freddie Kahlil, drove them to New York City so they could have something of a honeymoon after the civil ceremony. From that simple start came a happy life with a few ups and downs and two wonderful children...me and my sister. In this age of "throw-away" marriages, it's nice to think that my parents stayed together in spite of the many "bumps" in the road. I recall as Mom lay dying in the hospital, Dad choked back tears as he recalled they would be married 60 years come November. Mom passed away in April of 2000.

Life can be cruel sometimes. About the time Dad was coming to grips with the loss of Mother, he was taken ill and diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma. He passed away shortly after midnight on November 12th. I remember the date because a week prior, on the 4th, my sister and I loaded his wheelchair into my car and took him for a little outing from the nursing home. By this time, he required a lot of care that neither one of us would have been able to provide. I honestly don't think he would have been happy with "his girls" looking after his personal needs anyway. So on this day we went for a little ride in the car to give him a change of scenery. We ended the tour at his home. A lot of things had been removed since we knew he would not be returning, but the living room still looked the same and I think it was comforting for him to sit in his easy chair one more time and drink a cup of coffee. At one point, my sister left the room and I said, "I don't know if it's appropriate to say under the circumstances, but happy anniversary." Even though it was sad with Mother gone, I think it pleased him that I remembered. A week later, he was with her.

This and That

It's been a while since I've written anything so I'm just hitching together some random thoughts in order to get myself back into the discipline. I went grocery shopping today and was delighted to find an obscure brand of soap scented with almond. I was hooked at first sniff but the stuff costs five dollars per bar. Ahhh...it's a bit pricey, but we have to pamper ourselves from time to time. I think the added price might be due to the fact that it is a vegan product. Why do companies charge more for items aimed at a specific market? Oh, wait...I know. Because they can.

Another topic that is troubling right now is my sisters cat. Diana is a lovely Maine Coon Cat. She doesn't have the best disposition in the world, but she loves my sister and, God knows, my sister loves her. They are very affectionate with each other. The cat actually puts her paws around my sister's neck in a sort of hug when they are cuddling. The downside of the seemingly lovely and loving animal is her habit of relieving herself on the carpet, furniture and walls. Unusual for a female cat, but she does spray the wall just like a tomcat might do. Needless to say, this does not make for a very pleasant odor. My recently widowed sister would like to put her house on the market and move to a smaller condo where she wouldn't have to worry about repairs or maintenance, but the aroma of cat urine is not necessarily a strong selling point, especially in today's market. There are products out there aimed at this very problem, but this particular kitty has been busy. My sister went through the house with a special "black light" meant to pinpoint the "problem" areas. She found indications of urine on the carpet, walls and also on the chairs and love seat in the living room. I don't think there is any way the smell will come out of upholstered furniture. It's easy for me to say "Get rid of the cat", but she loves the cat. I know that my cat could do almost anything and I would never consider putting her down. So there it is. I don't know the answer, and I'm so sorry for my sister who has this to worry about.

The Bittersweet Season

I'm beginning to wonder if we will ever see the sun again. I can't even recall the last time I was able to go for a walk (and I'm feeling guilty about that). It might have been Saturday. I know we had moments of good weather, though cool, that day. That was the day Laura and Brian had their cookout and hayride party. It was also the day I worked at the Historical Society museum. We also had a few decent moments on Sunday. That was the day my sister and I went to the play at The Granite Theater. There was a glorious sunset that evening which I arrived home just seconds too late to photograph. The color was so bright, even the pavement and the houses looked pink. Even on the days that haven't involved actual rain, it has been dreary and threatening. I'm a person who suffers all winter from sunlight deprivation, so these last days of clement weather are precious to me. I feel like I want to be outside as much as possible in order to memorize what daylight is like. A friend published a picture of a pretty, yellow toadstool on line today which so intrigued me, I went outside to search for some in my own yard. What I found instead, was a tiny growth of bittersweet, a weed vine which seems to be everywhere at this time of year. It occured to me, as I was taking the photograph, how appropriate was the name of this shrub. It is so cheerful to behold with its bright red and yellow berries and yet it comes at a time of year when we are putting the joys of summer behind us and preparing for a long, cold winter. The very season is bitter, sweet. We do have positive things to look forward to. Surely the colors of autumn are gorgeous to behold. The children are agog at the propect of Halloween and the celebrations and parties and costumes that go with that holiday. Thanksgiving, that family time devoted to cooking and then over-eating will soon be upon us, followed rapidly by Christmas then New Years. The cheery scenes conjured up by the mention of holidays are overshadowed, however, by the thought of slippery roadways and icy sidewalks, chill winds and freezing rain lashing at our faces and penetrating our coats and scarves. Winter can be a miserable time of year here in New England. Yet, as unpleasant as those foul weather memories are, I also recall crisp, cold nights with snow falling silently or bright sunny days with ice making the trees look like glass sculptures. Truly, bittersweet is an apt title for this colorful little harbinger of winter.

It is now day thirteen of the diet/exercise regimen. I failed badly over the weekend by not walking and eating picnic food on Saturday and restaurant food on Sunday. I've also been eating a lot of wrong things on my own time. Some anonymous someone left me a half dozen ears of native corn on the cob while I was out Saturday. I've always had an aversion to waste, so I've been incorporating that corn into my meals that I have cooked for myself. The last of it will be gone today along with the Amerrican chop suey I made out of the hamburger I had to cook Monday. The only part of the diet I have been able to stick to is the oatmeal and fruit breakfast. Oh...and I haven't been snacking at all.
Oh please, let the sun come out soon!

The Rain Came

So finally, the day arrived that I couldn't get out and walk. Hopefully, the walking I did while accomplishing my errands this morning was enough to keep my momentum. I was wide awake at 4:00AM. This has got to stop. I'm exhausted by dinnertime...in fact, I cooked my dinner at 2:00 because I was feeling sleepy, but also hungry. So I baked a chicken breast with lemon/dill seasoning and steamed some red potatoes and broccolli. It was nice. Then after I ate, I stretched out on the sofa for a snooze. I had just dozed off when the phone rang. It was my friend, Marge. I had told our other friend, Becky that I would try to join them for drinks this afternoon...of course, that was out of the question...I was spent. I feel a little bad. I really need to force myself to get out more. I am lucky enough to be healthy at my age, I shouldn't waste it.

I did my usual Friday morning thing and picked up coffee for me and Kim at Dunkin Donuts, then continued on to the airport for our weekly visit. It was earlier than usual because I had gotten up so early. Good thing. I hadn't been there much more than a half hour when the new "owner" walks in, scowls at Kim and barks, "Socialize on your own time." We sort of looked at each other wondering if this was a joke. "What", says Kim. "You heard me. Socialize on your own time." What a dick! I really wish I had the authority to tell him that I've been in meetings to get his ass fired. A much more savvy businessman has approached me to pick my brains about the business because Avis decided to get rid of this guy, Ron. He's a dick to employees, a dick to business associates and most importantly, a dick to customers. He spoke to Kim as though she was an imbecile or a five year old and he completely ignored the fact that he even knew me. I don't care if he IS on the rag, he still needs to be civil to people. I wish I could be there the day the brass arrives from Hartford to rip off his epaulets.
Day eight...woohoo!!

Weather or Not

The morning started out on sort of a bad note, depending upon how you look at it. For the past few days, I've been waking up at 5:00AM, which I rather enjoy. I have time to drink coffee and check my email, then I get dressed and go for a walk as soon as it gets light enough. Today, I woke at 5:00, but just couldn't seem to make myself get up. I went back to sleep and didn't rise until 7:30...not bad', but it felt like over-sleeping after the early starts I've been getting. Oh well...coffee first. About the time the coffee was ready was when I noticed what a dreary day it was shaping up to be outside. The sky looked as though it was going to open up and pour at any moment. This was not good. Along with missing out on exercise, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to snap a couple of pictures I wanted for my Facebook page. Obviously, this was something that could wait, but still I was feeling disappointment. I know what happens when one gets out of an exercise habit...it might never be picked up again. Finally, I decided if it hadn't started raining by now (three hours later) it might just hold off for the rest of the day, or at least long enough for me to get a walk in. So, off I went...down the street, passed the park, passed the service station, over the railroad bridge and out of the village (the railroad tracks are the boundary line for the village proper). Now I found myself on a stretch of road that runs parallel to the train tracks. It seems a much shorter stretch when one is driving in ones car. I made it to the beach with a minimum of panting or discomfort. I will admit, however, I was happy for an opportunity to sit at one of the tables at the now deserted pavilion. It was good to rest my "howling dogs" and enjoy the panorama of sand and surf. Eventually, I regained my stamina and headed off again toward home. There is a newspaper machine at the entrance to the beach, so I stopped and bought a copy of the New London Day to read when I got back to #56. I was very fortunate in that it never did rain, however, it was so warm and humid, I was quite uncomfortable by the time I got to the bottom of my street. There is a wall there on the corner and I was very happy to sit on it for a few minutes before attempting the rather steep climb. Finally, I arrived home. I knew that if I
went into the house I would feel even hotter, so
I sat on the patio and read the paper and was
soon all cooled off. Now the question of breakfast. It was really nearly lunchtime and I almost convinced myself to go to the supermarket for a salad, but I really wasn't dressed for shopping and besides, I go to the market on Friday. I don't know as one can call a cheese omelet a diet dish, but I mixed the eggs with water and not milk, and only used a small amount of butter in the pan. Instead of catsup or salsa, I put dill weed in the omelet for flavor and served chunks of cantaloupe alongside. It was a very nice brunch and now I'll be all satisfied until dinnertime. Especially if I keep my stomach filled with water for the next few hours. That's another thing that is very difficult for me...drinking lots of water. I know how important it is, but I really don't like water and I nearly choke on it if I try to just quickly chug down a glassful. Right now, I'm sipping from a pretty green stemmed goblet with lots of ice. It's very nice and I think my body needs to be rehydrated after this morning's exercise (and sweating). BTW, it's day seven!!

Stressed Out by Food

There used to be a restaurant in Rhode Island that offered an "all you can eat" seafood buffet for something like $45.00. You could fill your plate with shrimp, lobster,steak or prime rib. They had all types of shellfish and side dishes and if that wasn't enough, there was a huge selection of desserts. I never went there because I knew I would feel pressured to overeat in order to get my money's worth. That sort of stress would completely destroy my appetite. A normal portion at a regular restaurant is usually more than I can eat. I remember my grandmother obsessing over food left on her plate when dining out. It seemed like such a waste to her and she always wished that she could be allowed to order from the childrens' menu. Now that I'm older, I can relate to that. I wish I could get a sandwich without such a huge mound of fries. I like baked potatoes, but not if they're the size of my head.

In the past I've been prescribed medications that require that they be taken with food. I would get up in the morning and dread having to eat some sort of food in order to swallow the pill. If not for the medication, I would probably be delighted at the prospect of a delicious breakfast. Some of these medications were to be taken two or three times a day. That would create a whole day of pressure to choke down three meals for three pills.

When my children were babies, I tried nursing for a time. Of course mother's milk relies on the mother taking in nutrients. This always set up a mental block for me. I would try to eat a sandwich or soup at lunchtime and practically be in tears because I just couldn't eat. Then someone told me that beer was an excellent way to enrich my milk. Well, if I thought the sandwich was difficult to swallow, the beer was impossible.

So now I'm trying to eat wisely and lightly in order to lose some weight. I decided early on that a good breakfast for me would be oatmeal and fruit. I've heard that oatmeal is good for the heart and does something to regulate cholesterol. I like oatmeal...oatmeal is not the problem. If you were to ask me what kind of fruit I like, I'd probably say bananas. Bananas are my favorite until I have them in the house. Suddenly there is pressure to eat them quickly because bananas go bad. As you can see by the above picture, once again, my appetite has been affected by food stress. So I guess the best thing for me to do, in order to lose weight, is go on some medication that needs to be taken with food, eat only at "all you can eat" buffets, buy bananas and have another baby...oh wait, that's impossible.

It is day six and I'm still walking and dieting. :)