Tamperproof Packaging

This morning I awoke with a painful "crick" in my neck. It was the sort of pain that makes every movement cause you to wince. I sat up gingerly, aware that a sudden move would cause hot fingers of agony to spread up the back of my head. Where this ailment came from is anybody's guess. My money is on the hours I spent reclining on the couch yesterday, propped up with a throw pillow, first reading and then watching marathon episodes of "48 Hours". When I finally did go to bed, I watched several reruns of "Cheers" and "The Golden Girls", again, propped up with pillows. Okay, so some people get athletic injuries...I get "couch potato" pains. Regardless of the cause, I decided I could work it out by ignoring it. I have a very high tolerance for pain so I rarely even take aspirin. It did occur to me that a hot shower would feel good on my neck and shoulders, so while the coffee brewed, I showered. It did feel good, but didn't stop the pain. After one cup of coffee, I toasted an english muffin and took that back to the computer. I knew it was time for medication when I finished the muffin and was unable to look down to see if there were crumbs on my sweater. I knew there was a new bottle of extra strength Tylonol in the kitchen. As I reached for the pills, I recalled the Tylonol scandal from several years ago. That was the incident which brought about all the secure packaging we now deal with on a daily basis. Funny that the scandal should cross my mind just then because, moments later, here I was trying to see through my pain to open this little pill bottle. First was the box. This wasn't really a huge obstacle except for the fact that by now any move was causing extreme discomfort. With the box opened, I extracted the small bottle and noticed a collar of clear plastic holding the lid firmly in place. There may be, on this bit of plastic, a notch or perforation to enable one to easily remove it. With my poor eyesight, I was unable to detect this so I set to work with a knife and was finally successful in getting a step closer to the pills. Next obstacle was the cap. Again, eyesight would have been a boon. Evidently, the idea was to line up the two arrows (one pointing down, the other up) so that the points meet. At this point (pun intended) one is to push the cap up with one's thumb. Easy peezie! The problem here is, after 55 or so, one's fingers are no longer as strong and agile as they once were. Gripping that tiny bottle and trying to push that cap seemed to require far more strength and coordination than I was capable of. At last, to my great relief, the lid popped off....exposing the safety seal. Dear Lord...recruits at marine boot camp have easier obstacle courses. There was no way my benumbed fingers and limited vision were going to easily remove the silvery seal. Finding my knife once again, I stabbed my way into the pill bottle, extracted two and swallowed them with "now cold" coffee. You'll be happy to know, in the time it's taken me to write this, my neck has begun to feel much better.